The Five Stages of
Healing
Stage 1: Awareness
Awareness that there is something to be healed, (physical,
emotional and/or psychological.) As opposed to being unaware
or unconscious.
This is said to be the essence of all healing. Awareness.
It is like opening a door to allow, to welcome a healing
process to begin. All the ancient traditions, and now even
modern scientific confirmation, has told us that the energy
of life, that which creates-sustains-heals all living things,
that life force is Conscious.
This consciousness is said to be a perfect knowing, an
all encompassing understanding . This consciousness is said
to possess all the power of the universe. This consciousness
is said to be love, peace, compassion, bliss.
The true understanding of the healing process is that this
Consciousness is what does the healing. It is not a pill,
not a surgical procedure, not a manipulation done by a human
hand or a machine, it is this power and the complete understanding
of how and when to use this loving power, this is healing;
the power, love and knowledge of Consciousness.
So the first step
is to allow this Consciousness to “work
on” what needs to be healed. The process of awareness
is this allowing. Opening the door of our being to this healing
energy that is simply known as Consciousness.
Stage 2: Acceptance and Commitment
Once we have the awareness of an imbalance in our being,
once the process is started, we can then add our own self
effort to the work of the healing energy, of Consciousness.
What we can add is
our commitment. Commitment comes from acceptance. Until
we completely accept
our internal issues
and processes, until we completely accept that it is ultimately
our self effort, along with what is often known as Grace,
or Consciousness, until we accept this understanding, we
will continue to misdirect some or all of the healing energy.
We will attempt to “heal” by making others the
problem, by making “life” the problem, by giving
away our own power to other people and other things.
Long ago most of us
learned a very profound truth, but it seldom stayed with
us. “Sticks
and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt
me.”
People and events in life can physically hurt us. A slap,
a car accident, disease, and other such events can hurt our
bodies. These things can break our very bones. Yet, in truth,
what others think, what they think about us, these beliefs
can truly not hurt us. These beliefs only have the power
that we give them.
In childhood, when
we did not know differently, many beliefs that we learned
and experienced
hurt us. Wounded us. And
wounded us very deeply. This was only because we gave power
to the beliefs. They were usually from our mom or dad, or
someone very dear to us. We put trust in these people. We
put trust in what they were passing on to us. We didn’t
know any better. As a young , human child we couldn’t
know any better. That is why we are a child, to learn. Learn
what is true and what is not true.
What was not true that we learned in our childhood not
only hurt us and wounded us, but it also created a process
that would eventually heal us. As we were wounded as children,
these wounds affected our body as well as our hearts and
minds.
The body became traumatized.
According to ancient wisdom, it became traumatized in very
specific
locations that were
connected to the nature of the trauma. For instance, if we
were traumatized by the learning that “You can’t
do anything right.” , that would traumatize our bodies
in possibly the low back, forearms and diaphragm.
The low back is said
to be where we store the traumas that connect to not being
good enough,
being a “loser.” The
low back is where all of the learned “put downs” or
criticisms collapse the spine.
The forearm is where we are said to store the traumas associated
with fear of doing the wrong thing, making a mistake, and
fear of being punished (for making a mistake.)
The diaphragm is where
we attempt to process or “digest” emotions.
When the emotions are too much for us to process, then the
diaphragm may contract or spasm. We often experience this
and may call it “knots in my stomach” or “butterflies
in my stomach.”
By having these traumas
be often repeated during childhood, these areas tend to
develop
what is called a “holding” pattern,
or a “frozen” pattern. What is actually happening
is that the trauma to the tissues are causing them to become
denser or more fibrous. This is the “knot” or
the “holding” or the “tension”.
Because our body is
kept alive by Life Energy, these trauma patterns will affect
the open
and free flow of Life Energy
as it moves throughout the body. When the Life Energy comes
to one of these areas of trauma, the energy cannot easily
flow through the traumatized area. The traumatized area creates
a “resistance” to the flow.
This is actually true on a scientific level. We can scientifically
find the flow of this Life Energy with monitoring devices.
We can find where it is meeting a resistance. Energy is electro-magnetic.
The blockages caused by trauma create a resistance in the
path of the electrical energy.
This resistance to the flow creates a dam effect. On one
side of the resistance there is a building up of the energy.
On the other side there is a lack of energy.
Where this electro-magnetic energy is built up, or excessive,
there is a magnetic field that is created by this build up
of energy. Energy is electro-magnetic.
Because nature is a system of balance, the Life Energy
that is the Conscious energy of Nature, will be attracted
magnetically to this buildup in our body.
Because this Life Energy is Conscious, it will know and
will draw to us, just like magnets, what is totally appropriate
for our healing. Since we have many variations of how the
Life Energy is in our body, there are many variations of
how healing may come.
For most of us, we
are seldom able to understand what is truly going on in
a healing process.
A “bad” job,
a “mean” parent, an “insensitive” partner,
are all part of our healing. We often do not “like” or “enjoy” what
heals us.
This ability to accept our healing, in whatever form and
for however long, is our ability to truly commit to the healing
process.
Since our minds are usually the source of our problems,
it is not often possible for our minds to agree to or accept
the healing.
So we need to go to a deeper level to make a commitment.
That is the level of Trust and Faith.
Stage 3: Exploration , Discovering Cause and Effect
After a commitment has been made to the healing process,
the next stage is to progressively explore and discover what
is the underlying cause behind a particular pattern.
This process of exploration is done either with facilitation
or by allowing the awareness and commitment phases to progressively
bring whatever healing is needed.
Facilitation is also
seen as the process of self effort. We can increase the
speed of the
healing process up to a
certain maximum speed. Our self effort is what we can add
to increase the speed of healing. The inherent power of Consciousness,
or what is also known as Grace, will continue to create a
healing process. Some traditions say that this can last for
many lifetimes. When we add our self effort, we become like
a bird that has two wings, one Grace the other self effort.
With both wings flapping we take off and “fly.”
Stage 4: Releasing and Replacing
Once we have accessed
what is the underlying dysfunctional core beliefs, there
is a natural
need to discharge this.
This can often be spontaneous. The “pressure” from
the awareness and clarity of what truly happened in childhood
learning, plus the intent to heal, this pressure simply wants
to be discharged.
The goal of this discharge
is to “pull the roots
up.” If you try to remove the weeds from your garden
with a lawn mower, you will still leave the roots that the
lawn mower cannot reach. A little water, a little sun, and
the weed is back.
In the release the
goal is to get to the root, the core of the old patterns.
Our childhood
core beliefs affected
our body. These beliefs made our body what it is today. To “do” what
we believe, we need the body. So we must uproot the belief
from the nervous system and the other aspects of the body
that were affected by the dysfunctional learning. This will
always include our respiration, breath is directly connected
to emotion; our muscles and bones; hormones, digestive organs,
and more. Truly letting go of an old belief must be a whole
being process. That is how we operate as humans. Our being
is whole. Connected.
So in the releasing,
this natural “pressure” is
given the opportunity to discharge; physically, emotionally
and mentally. If it is not discharged at all these levels,
then there will be an incomplete release and the missing
part(s) will need to be released at a later time.
This is the benefit of a whole being, or holistic, healing
process. All elements are included.
The second part of this Stage 4 is replacing. In the same
image as weeding a garden, once you uproot the weed, there
is a fresh opening for something new to grow. An empty space
that needs to be filled.
In the same way, uprooting
old core patterns leaves us with an empty space in our
being for
new learning. This space
will only be empty for a very short time. Just minutes. We
then have the opportunity to either consciously replace the
old belief, or to allow random information to fill the space.
For example, if you are working on releasing “Don’t
expect to be loved” and you have an effective release,
then there is an opportunity to learn that you are loved.
Loved continuously and unconditionally. This is Truth. Love
is the essence of the energy that our entire universe is
made of. If this new learning is put in after the release,
then we have that inside. If no learning is put in, then
you may leave and hear a sad love song on the radio. The
messages of unfulfilling love from the radio can then replace
the old core belief. And another dysfunctional message will
be imprinted. So it is critical to release and then replace
at the same time.
Stage 5: Re-education and Integration
This is an essential and necessary part of healing.
When we were learning the dysfunctional childhood beliefs,
they were seldom accompanied with functional life skills.
So when we have done a deep clearing and replacing of old
core beliefs, we are usually left with new opportunities
but not new skills. For example, we may feel very motivated
to express our feelings and be open and honest, yet we may
not have effective communications skills that would allow
this to functionally happen.
In this last phase
of the healing process we learn and practice new life skills.
Then we
observe how they are working
as you apply them to your daily life. Human learning is through
experience, so to be able to truly “attain” a
new, functional life, we have to go through experiential
learning. This imprints the new opportunities into our body
and mind.
For example, in Stage
4 you may have very effectively released old childhood
beliefs and feelings
around trust and respect,
now there is a new opportunity for genuine trust and respect
in your life. For us to really know and attain these qualities,
we have to go through learning experiences. Any body mind “residue” of
old distrust and disrespect will be brought out by new learning
experiences.
We often have an expectation
after deep healing that everything will be the dream we
always
hoped for. That is possible.
And realistic. And it is a process. This Stage is to learn
and experience what is needed to have those dreams be able
to come true. This Stage is to learn how to accept and honor
the “process” of our life as it unfolds through
our self effort and through the Grace of Consciousness.
Now that you know
you can have the dreams come true, now that the “intent” is clear, the “capability” needs
to match the intent. This happens through experiential learning.
Stage 5.
These new skills are both inner and outer. Inner skills
are things such as helping to focus and quiet an agitated
mind, being clear on what is needed and what is felt, or
how to diffuse a powerful triggering situation. Outer skills
would be things such as communication, organizing activities
and resources, or relationship skills
How Long Will This Take?
People often wonder, “How long does it take to heal?
How many sessions do I need?” The reality is that healing
takes time, and the process is different for each individual.
This concept of time
is often linked to our childhood core learning. “It’s taking too long. Hurry up. Don’t
just stand there , do something,“ and such. These are
concepts that are “man made.” This is time according
to our mind, or our ego.
What is true time could be called Natural Time. Natural
Time is exactly the amount of time that is needed. The Consciousness
that is the source of Natural Time knows exactly how much
time is needed for anything that unfolds in our life, including
our entire life.
This is often challenging.
Our minds, our friends, our relatives, our teachers, our
religious
leaders are often
counseling us to operate in another concept of time. “Your
clock is ticking, you’re not a teenager anymore, you’re
too old for that,” and such.
The goal of this healing process is to honor and accept
Natural Time. To accept Natural Time is to be at peace in
whatever evolutionary process Consciousness is unfolding
for us, whether it takes one week or five years.
This five stage healing process is typically less than
a year. The process of learning and evolving will continue
on and on after this process.
You will have an opportunity to once again give a loving,
beneficial human development to your inner child, that part
that never received a truly functional human development.
You will have the opportunity to go through the stages
of human development again. This time with your own love
and clarity to support yourself. This time with new and functional
life skills.
You will have an opportunity to do this with acceptance
and respect of Natural Time. You will have an opportunity
to do this an acceptance and commitment to your own self
effort and to the Grace of Consciousness.
You will have the opportunity to be your unique, human
self. To find your inner direction, your inner love, and
fulfillment in all the areas of your life.
Sessions are conducted on a weekly basis. The fee is $100,
paid each session. Please contact me at the number or e mail
below if you feel this process would be appropriate for you.
Blessings
Barry Green, Ph.D. |
